Curtains and Prom Night coming to Blu-Ray!

   

     Here's some downright fantastic news, kids.  It seems Synapse Films is tackling the project of repairing and restoring the amazing cult slasher "Curtains".  I know, right?  Apparently the original negative is in poor condition, and the restoration is underway.  I can't stress how excited I am about this news.  And as if that weren't enough, they are also polishing up one of my all-time favorites, "Prom Night"!  Rumors are swirling about a definite DVD/blu-ray release for both of these flicks as well, and speaking of rumors- there are supposedly a handful of 80's classic horror about to receive the same treatment.  And "Humongous" is one of them.  Swoons.

   
     

April Fool's Day Modernized Trailer

     Loving this one.  Rad!

 

SCREAM QUEEN TRIBUTE- Janet Leigh

     I'm starting a tribute to the great Scream Queens of cinema, and I can't think of a better one to start with than Janet Leigh.  Although a silver screen legend in her own right, she ranks as one of the greatest Scream Queens for her performance in the granddaddy of all slashers, "Psycho".

     Married to screen icon Tony Curtis, and mother of Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis, Janet Leigh is true Hollywood royalty.  And her infamous shower scene in "Psycho" is one of cinema's greatest achievements, and truly iconic in the annals of film horror.  Janet Leigh made thousands of people afraid to take a shower, and that's why she's my first Scream Queen tribute.

Janet gets extra cool points for appearing with her Scream Queen daughter, Jamie Lee Curtis, in not one but two horror films, John Carpenter's fantastic "The Fog", and "Halloween: H20".  Plus, she appeared in the bona fide camp/cult classic "Night of the Lepus".  What a lady.

     Whether she's fending off demented slashers, vengeful ghosts from the past, or giant killer bunnies- Janet has certainly made an impression on horror film fans over the years.

Happy Anniversary Friday the 13th!

     On this day 33 years ago, the original "Friday the 13th" was released in theaters.  Hard to believe it was 33 years ago, right?  Quite amazing, actually.  The little movie nobody thought could has certainly surpassed anybody's expectations.  And what's even more amazing is how well the film holds up today.  It's still far scarier than most horror movies released today.  So on that note, what are you waiting for?  Go watch it already!

MOVIE POSTER COLLECTION- THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

RIP Richard Brooker (Jason Voorhees)

     Apparently Jason Voorhees is a mere mortal after all.  'Tis a sad day in the world of horror, as we mourn the loss of Richard Brooker.  Unless you have lived in a cave for the past 30 years, you should know that Richard Brooker took on the role of Jason Voorhees and made horror history.  Brooker played Jason in "Friday the 13th Part 3", and was the first Jason to don the infamous hockey mask, making it a worldwide icon of horror.  Richard effortlessly and brilliantly re-invented Jason Voorhees, and it became the definitive Jason to many a horror fan.

     To this day, I still tell anybody that listens that the only good "Friday the 13th" films are the first 4, and after going back and watching them all in a marathon, I firmly stand by that opinion.  Richard's performance made a huge impact on me in my youth, and I would like to take this moment to thank him for his contribution not only to the "Friday the 13th" films, but to the world of horror in general.

SOUNDS FROM THE CRYPT- April Fool's Day

   

      Okay, so today is all about "April Fool's Day".  I'm celebrating my love for it by showcasing the wonderfully creepy score Charles Bernstein did for the film.  Bernstein, who also scored the original "A Nightmare On Elm Street", offered up a sadly overlooked piece of music for a usually overlooked piece of film.  It's a downright awesome score, and although hard to find, is well worth the hunt.  It's one of those fantastic 80's synth scores, and you just can't beat that.  Here's a taste.

Happy April Fool's Day!

     Muffy and I would like to take the time to wish you all a Happy April Fool's Day!  Cheers!  (And yes, I'm watching it tonight...)

SOUNDS FROM THE CRYPT- John Carpenter's The Thing

     On top of being one of the best sci-fi/horror films of all time, Carpenter's classic also boasts a stunningly eerie score by legendary composer Ennio Morricone.  It's a superb and chilling piece that perfectly compliments the bleak terror of the film.  Good stuff.

Scary Tales Around The Campfire

     Hey kids, it's that time of year. Summer is here. Which means lots of camping, floating, and such. Well for me, at least. I live on the lake. Pretty much always have.  My summers as a child consisted of lots of camping, floating, swimming, and frolicking in the woods. And being scared silly by tales of Mrs. Voorhees and Cropsey around a campfire.

      Because of that, I've always had a yen for camp-themed slashers or those that take place in the woods. There is indeed something frightening about being out in the woods, cut off from civilization. Sitting around a campfire, you truly don't know who is watching you, off in the distance. You're vulnerable. You're out of your familiar element, away from the comforts and safety of home. FRIDAY THE 13TH, THE BURNING, and MADMAN are just a few 80's horror films that offer a nice, woodsey vibe.  Got a good scary store to tell?  Let's build a campfire and scare the kids, shall we? I've got the marshmallows if you care to join me.

V/H/S

   

     So I finally got around to watching "V/H/S" last night.  I'd been practically dying to see it, as I'm a regular junkie for horror anthologies. And.... I'm still scratching my head over it.  For a film that was supposed to "restore my faith in horror films", I'm afraid it did quite the opposite.  First of all, I never lost faith in horror films.  Yes, horror today is in a dreadful state.  Sure.  But if I had truly lost faith in horror films, then I wouldn't still be watching them.  I'd wanted to see "V/H/S" since it came out, as I'm usually a huge fan of the "found footage" flicks.  I shoulda just kept waiting.

     Here's the premise.  Apparently, a group of douche-bags are hired to break into this desolate, country home and steal a video tape.  We are never told why they are stealing this particular tape, or what is on it. Nor are we told who exactly wants this tape stolen.  Once the douche-bags arrive, they find a man's dead body sitting in a chair, and a hub of tv screens with tons of video tapes lying around.  Apparently, they don't know which tape to retrieve, so they start popping tapes in, and we are treated, we assume, to the stories on the tapes.  I say assume here, because I honestly didn't know what the hell was going on the entire time I was watching.

       There were some very scary scenes in "V/H/S", but it's such a muddled mess, those scenes are robbed of any impact they might have made.  One of the stories, the one with the bug-eyed weird girl, is actually quite good and disturbing... and I thought it might not be half bad. But 30 minutes later I found myself thinking meh... then another scary moment would happen, only to follow it up with meh... again.  Back and forth.  Finally, we admitted defeat about an hour into it.  We finished it, but barely. This was the longest movie of my life, it seemed.  Just when I thought it was over, someone pops in yet another tape with even more footage.  Too many stories to digest, for sure.

     All this footage is just hurled at us in intervals, and we are somehow supposed to find time to thread it all together into some sort of coherency. Is all this footage somehow connected?  Obviously it is somehow, as all these tapes are found in this deserted house.  But why?  What was the purpose of breaking into the original house to steal the tape in the first place?  lots of douche-baggery to be found, but not much plot.  I found it pretty stupid and un-realistic that a bunch of goons would just break into a house, find a dead man there, and just non-chalantly blunder around while still filming the festivities and going through video tapes.  What is up with the disappearing dead guy?  Was it him who wanted them to come steal the stupid tape in the first place?  Who's the naked guy running around?  And why should we honestly care? This movie reeks of pure laziness.

     Another complaint I have about "V/H/S" is one I find myself applying to many modern horror movies.  Whatever happened to likable characters?  I couldn't wait to see this entire cast dead. Like, for real.  I certainly wouldn't want to know anybody in this movie in real life.  Well, except maybe for the naked guy in the first story...  Everything in "V/H/S" happens to fast, we have no time whatsoever to relate to these characters, or ultimately care what happens to them.  And they're just not likable people. In classic horror films of the day, we actually liked many of those characters.  Whether it was sassy Annie from "Halloween" or goofy Ned from "Friday the 13th", they were fun.  Memorable.  Somewhat real.  We invest time in them, and are ultimately affected by what happens to them.  Not so much here. This all seems very contrived, for the most part. With all the talent involved, I was honestly expecting something more.  This was nothing I haven't seen before, honestly.

     So that's my take on "V/H/S".  This was the first "found footage" flick that I honestly did not like.  It's sad, because it had such potential!  I still think had they cut this in half, and fleshed out say, three of the best stories, this might have been more powerful.  But alas, they didn't.  Oh well.  I suppose I should wrap all this by trying to find something positive to say about this flick.  There is definitely some imagination at work here- maybe a bit too much.  This movie could easily be split up into two separate films, which I think would give the finished project much more impact.  As it is, it's simply way too much crammed into one big mess.  There are some genuinely frightening moments in "V/H/S", and some pretty cool effects as well.  However, to me, it just doesn't all gel together like it should.  There are too many pointless stories going on, and not enough emphasis on the backbone which should tie it all together neatly.  Seems I'm getting negative again.  I think you get the drift by now anyway.

Summer Of Fear aka Stranger In Our House

     Wes Craven followed up his infamous LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and his controversial THE HILLS HAVE EYES with the superbly entertaining made-for-TV horror flick SUMMER OF FEAR, based on the young-adult mystery novel by Lois Duncan, and stars the one and only Linda Blair. Of course it sounds irresistible, and well, it is.

     Rachel, perfectly played by Linda Blair, is your typical, free-wheeling teenager who loves horseback riding, has a major crush on a boy, and pretty much lives a golden life. However, her world is shaken up one sunny morning with the stunning news of the death of her aunt and uncle, who along with their housekeeper, died in a car accident in the Ozark Mountains. As a result of this tragedy, their teenage daughter Julia, played by Lee Purcell, is coming to live with Rachel and her family. And suddenly all hell breaks loose.

     Rachel likes Julia at first, who comes across as rather mousy and scared of her own shadow.  But Rachel soon realizes there is something mysterious going on with dowdy Julia, as she seems to be taking over Rachel's life, her family, her crush, and her friends- which by the way, is played by none other than Fran Drescher from "The Nanny"! Soon Julia starts dressing like Rachel, even copying her hair, as the whole thing builds to a completely satisfying catfight showdown of a climax.

     Now even though this is a Wes Craven production, don't expect a brutal exercise in horror. However, it's a nifty little nail-biter that's solid and campy and all-around entertaining. Craven knows what he's doing here and doesn't disappoint.

 

        SUMMER OF FEAR is one of the best known made-for-TV thrillers of the 1970's and 80's, and there's plenty of reasons why. Check it out, kids.

AMITYVILLE 3-D

     John Baxter (Tony Roberts), is a skeptic who works for Reveal Magazine.  His job is to debunk ghost stories and claims of haunted houses.  In a questionable case of real estate, recently divorced Baxter decides to buy the infamous house in Amityville, Long Island.  Why not?  Well, to solve the mystery of 112 Ocean Avenue and see it it's legit, or a bunch of bunk.

     Turns out his daughter Susan is none other than 80's icon Lori Loughlin, who would go on to a different house in a few years. The wonderful Candy Clark plays Melanie- John's faithful photographer assistant and who does not think any of this is a good idea.  Baxter's grumpy ex-wife, played by Tess Harper, is also vehemently against this arrangement.  And surprise- spunky Meg Ryan shows up as Susan's best friend. Don't you just love the 80's.

     This was the second sequel to the hit classic THE AMITYVILLE HORROR.  Cashing in on the hot but very brief 3-D craze of the time, AMITYVILLE 3-D, along with FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 in 3-D and JAWS 3-D, all made a memorable 3-D horror trilogy of the early 80's. Is it any good?  No... yet I find it irresistible all the same. This was the first sequel in the series not to continue the existing storyline, and it plays with the idea that maybe the house itself is infamous, but could still be seen as a hoax. This is a curious entry in the AMITYVILLE series. It was the last movie before the series turned to utter shit, for one.

      I'm reviewing it because it's included in the fabulous box set with the first two films, and anyway it's not terrible. There are lots of things I actually like about AMITYVILLE 3-D. It's damn weird, for one, and oddly entertaining.

     This sequel really does kinda veer off into Crazytown, and that's part of its charm. We're treated to Meg Ryan wanting to hump a ghost, flying swordfish, ouija boards, purple floating mists, more flies, and a freaky demon that comes out of the well right at the end and burns a guy's face off (Jim from DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN)!  It builds to a rousing climax that literally brings down the house, and ends on an ominous and mysterious note. While nothing memorable, it's still a totally enjoyable slice of 80's b-movie camp heaven and part of a pretty strong haunted house trilogy. And don't go any farther than this installment. Trust me.

        I think it's kind of cool that for whatever reason, AMITYVILLE 3-D, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 in 3-D, and JAWS 3 IN 3-D were all third sequels, and all in 3-D.  These movies were a huge fucking deal deal back in 1982 and 1983, and a lot of memories are attached to them. That alone give this movie cool points. Another golden HBO staple right here.

      It's definitely the odd man out of the original trilogy, but that makes it sort of endearing to me. The first two AMITYVILLE films were serious attempts at scary movies. I think they were going for that with the third, but it somehow came out rather campy and curious instead.  It should have truly ended here though.  It would have been a respectable horror trilogy and that would have been that. But no.