A Nightmare On Elm Street

How scary was A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET when it was released way back in 1984? Extremely. Chock full of terrifying imagery and memorable moments galore, ELM STREET tells the story of Nancy (perfectly played by Heather Langenkamp). Things start to get weird when she finds out her friends are having the exact same dreams...

     This shocking slasher about a horribly burned madman who stalks teens in their dreams became a sensation upon its release, and made an instant horror icon out of Robert Englund, who so terrifyingly brought Freddy Krueger to life. 

    Freddy Krueger has become such an over-saturated character that it's almost hard to remember just how scary he truly was the first time we saw him back in 1984. The original A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET is most definitely a classic horror film, and Freddy Krueger is easily one of the most popular villains in cinema history, part of the Holy Trinity of Terror alongside Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees. And Freddy, like any other movie monster, was eventually milked to death and became a cackling comedian in the latter sequels, and he became less and less frightening. But you cannot go wrong with the original, the classic.

What makes the original ELM STREET so scary is that we hardly see Freddy in the movie- like JAWS,  Freddy is wisely kept in the dark through most of the film. We get glimpses here and there- his hands, his hat, his sweater. Just enough to freak us the hell out. 

       Wes Craven did a great job of capturing that certain small, mid-western teenage vibe, like John Carpenter brilliantly achieved in HALLOWEEN. Craven chillingly depicts a nightmare world inhabited by the evil Krueger, which would haunt many a movie-goer's dreams back in the day. The film is visually stunning for a low budget production- it's filmed almost hallucinogenic and surreal,which makes the nightmare scenes so memorable. It's truly an original premise, and it was very influential in horror.  

     But it really should have stopped after this one or the second installment. If Freddy could only be remembered for the original terrifying performance he gave in 1984, instead of the family-friendly comedian he became. It's one of the best to come out of the 80's, and it was seriously scary stuff for 1984. I was 12 years old and petrified watching this. And yes, this was the film premiere of a certain actor named Johnny Depp.

Terror In the Aisles

  

     Not many have seen or even heard of, for that matter, "Terror In the Aisles"- what is it, you ask?  It's a compilation of some of the most famous clips in horror movie history that was released in theaters way back in 1984.  Donald Pleasance and Nancy Allen are your hosts, providing a running commentary on why people love scary movies.  And tons of clips.  It's nothing too deep or insightful, basically just an excuse to see clips from such classic shockers as "Psycho", "Jaws", "Alien", "Carrie", and "Halloween".  It's put together rather nicely, although some of the "theater" scenes with Allen and Pleasance come across as somewhat cheesy.  Still, it's a fun ride.  Some of the selections are strange ("Abbot & Costello Meet Frankenstein"?  "To Catch A Thief"?  "Vice Squad"?  Really?...), but overall it hits most of the classics.  Now this should most definitely be redone today- primarily because we've had some pretty good horror movies released since 1984.    Towards the end, it does lose a bit of steam, but I still think if you can come across a copy, it's worth a look.
      I would have loved to have seen this in a theater back then- even though at a mere 84 minutes I might have felt a bit cheated.  There's no rhyme or reason to "Terror In the Aisles"- they show many clips from "Friday the 13th Part 2", yet the only clip from the original is when Jason jumps out of the lake at the end.  Some movies are represented alot- "Halloween", "JAWS", and "Psycho" come to mind, while others such as "Suspiria" and "Night of the Living Dead" are only shown briefly.  And oddly enough they do not identify the movies.  It took me years to figure out what movies some of these clips were from.  But it was kind of fun tracking down some of these particular movies.  This is a total guilty pleasure of mine, as I've seen it hundreds of times.  I genuinely enjoy watching this, flawed as it is.   It's still the most comprehensive look at horror movies in general that I've ever come across.   And the fact that this was released theatrically is quite astonishing.  I've seen other cheesy compilations- "Boogeymen" for one.  Yuck.  In that respect, "Terror In the Aisles" is far superior.  If you can find a copy, get it!

Here's a taste of the fun that awaits you in "Terror In the Aisles"...

The Slumber Party Massacre

      I absolutely adore THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE.  I find it hilarious, actually. There is a delicious wit running through every minute of this slasher flick, and it's one of my favorites of the decade. Although we're presented with possibly the least frightening killer ever put on celluloid- he's laughable all the way, and maybe it's just me, but I insist on my psychopaths wearing a mask. Why is this?  I mean, if somebody is coming after you with a knife, no matter what they're wearing, it's probably going to be pretty scary, right? Right. But i prefer my slasher to be sportin' a mask.

     There are exceptions, of course. Pamela Voorhees didn't wear a mask, and she was certainly scary enough on her own. HE KNOWS YOU'RE ALONE offers a killer without a mask, and it works for the most part. EYES OF A STRANGER has a killer without a mask. No sweat. But c'mon- would HALLOWEEN have been near as scary if Michael Myers was just a regular guy walking around?  I think not. Would Leatherface have caused as many nightmares as he did if he didn't walk around wearing other people's faces? Doubt it. I'm just saying.

     THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE came about during that magical time period otherwise known as the early 80's. In 1982, the slasher genre was going full-tilt boogie, and it seemed there was a new madman stalking teens just about every weekend of that year in theaters. TSPM features the barest whiff of a plot- while the parents are away, a bunch of girls throw a slumber party. And there's an escaped lunatic running around with a power drill with a very large bit attached (I'm not even going into the whole phallic imagery bit- it's been discussed to death already...) and killing people. That's pretty much it. Simple, yet effective. We didn't need no stinkin' plots back then- we just wanted to see Jordache-wearing teens being slaughtered for whatever reason.

     There are so many things I love about this movie, but mainly- I love the humor found here.  There is some genuinely funny comedic dialogue running through THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE- so much that I found myself laughing out loud quite a few times. I love that the girls in this movie look at least 30 years old, while the boys could easily pass for 18. The somewhat-butch young girl obsessed with "PLAYGIRL" magazines is quite hilarious, and you gotta love the gay next-door neighbor asked to look after the girls while their parents are away. Is this movie cleverly spoofing the slasher films of the era? Is the humor intentional or unintentional?  There is almost a sly, winking vibe to this movie, and I really dig it. This is high camp all the way, kiddos.

      THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE has developed a strong following over the years, and remains a definite guilty pleasure. Great fun all the way, and highly recommended.

   

Humongous

  

 
     "Humongous" is a lost slasher.  But an awesome one.  This is prime 1980's slasher all the way, folks, and if any obscure 80's flick deserves a proper DVD/blu-ray release, it's "Humongous".  A follow-up to director Paul Lynch's  "Prom Night", this is pitch perfect 80's horror that gleefully follows in the footsteps of "Friday the 13th" and other slashers of the time.  And this one's got it all.  Great story.  Great atmosphere.  Great monster.  It's a prime example of early 80's horror.

     It starts off with a bang, as we learn in the ominous prologue that some rich lady in the 40's owns a huge mansion on Dog Island.  She's having a party, and is brutally raped at a party.  She owns dogs, and at the sight of their mistress being attacked, break loose and kill the lug. The woman becomes pregnant, and in true horror movie fashion, gives birth to a monstrously deformed child.  Slowly growing insane, the woman becomes a sad recluse on the lonely island, as her child grows huge, hence the name "Humongous".

     Flash forward 30 years or so.  A bunch of rich kids on a yacht get lost in the fog, and end up, of course, on mysterious Dog Island.  The island appears to be deserted, but they hear the dogs.  But soon they realize they are being silently watched.  And hunted. Sounds great, right?  It is.  I love "Humongous".  I love everything about it.  It's got some of the best atmosphere I've ever seen in an 80's horror film.  What it lacks in acting more than makes up for in mood and atmosphere.  It's great stuff.  Many complain about the darkness of this movie- there are some scenes that it's just downright hard to see what's going on.  We are still waiting for that official DVD transfer they keep promising.  However on the plus side, the movie offers some great atmosphere and camerawork, and it has a pretty scary killer. It's by far one of the better slasher in the woods, easily ranking alongside such notable entries as "Friday the 13th" and "The Burning".

     "Humongous" was an HBO staple in the early 80's, and it's where I caught it late one night- oh, around 1984 or so.  I found it very scary then, and am pleased to say I found it just as entertaining today.  Especially now that it's finally been released on DVD- it looks better than ever.  Give it a whirl.  You won't be disappointed.

Bigfoot

    I wonder why there are no really good Bigfoot movies out there?  You would think that with a subject matter like Bigfoot, we could have a truly scary movie about the big guy.  But... I can't think of a single one, besides "The Legend Of Boggy Creek".  As primitive and low-budget as it is, it's still by far the best.  The last Bigfoot movie I saw was the abysmal "Sasquatch" from some time in the 90s, starring the ever dependable Lance Henriksen.  It was pretty bad.  In fact, it sucked horseshit.

     Now I grew up in the woods.  And it was a summer ritual to sit huddled around a fire in the woods, scaring each other silly with tales of Bigfoot, The Hook, and Jason Voorhees.  A fun night of camping can easily become the stuff of nightmares when the talk inevitably turns to a hulking Sasquatch, lurking unseen, in the darkness around you.  Scary shit.  Think about it.

     A Bigfoot movie could have so many possibilities as a horror movie, if done right.  There is something undeniably scary about the legend of Bigfoot.  I wouldn't really want to encounter Bigfoot alone- would you?  Seems rather frightening, if you ask me.  It's frustrating that there are so many untapped areas for horror movies, yet instead we're subjected to either "Saw 12" or dull, stupid remakes of classic movies.  I want a good, new kick-ass Bigfoot movie!  Why not?  There are more ways to scare an audience besides a killer in a mask-as fun as those are.  I think the story of Bigfoot could make one great scary movie.  "The Legend Of Boggy Creek" has proven that.  Let's see if they can do it again.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 2010

  
    It appears that many are extremely excited about the newest remake of a classic horror movie.  I'm talking about "A Nightmare On Elm Street", the 1984 shocker that introduced Freddy Krueger to pop culture.  Now I've never been a huge "Nightmare" fan anyway, but I have truly zero interest in watching this latest "re-imagining".  Like, none.  The original is in its own right a classic horror movie.  It was fresh and different, and Freddy was truly scary back in '84.  "Halloween" gave us Michael in 1978, and "Friday the 13th" introduced not one but two iconic villains, Pamela and Jason Voorhees- which pretty much reigned supreme at the box office from 1978 to 1984.  Freddy Krueger came along, and was different in that it wasn't just another guy in a mask.  Not dissing "Halloween" or "Friday the 13th" in the least bit, but by '83 or so it was standard slasher fare to just throw a guy in a mask with an ax to kill teenagers.  "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter" was the last great entry in the "Friday" series in 1984, and by then the slasher movie was all but dead.  "A Nightmare On Elm Street" was one of the last great horror movies of the 80's, if you ask me.  Oh there were some good ones here and there through the remainder of the decade, but 1980 to 1984 are my favorite years.
     However, by the third entry in the "Nightmare" series, I was already getting annoyed with Freddy Krueger.  Why they chose to throw in the comedy routines is beyond me- it completely robbed Krueger of his scariness.  It became campy way too quickly, I think.  Freddy became a joke with me.  I was even annoyed at the "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th" movies by 1987 or '88.  They just weren't the same.  I've already voiced my dislike for "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers" and "Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning", and all that follow.  Yuck.  But horror was changing in the late 80's and by the early 90's much more realistic horror movies were appearing, such as "Misery" and "The Silence of the Lambs".  Which brings us to the remake of "A Nightmare On Elm Street".  And remakes in general.  Since the remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (which if I had to choose, I would say that would be the one I've enjoyed most- not saying I enjoyed it, but you know what I mean...), I've really liked none of them.  "The Amityville Horror", "The Omen", "The Fog",  "Halloween", "Friday the 13th"... all despicable in my opinion.  The originals are far superior, offering so much more atmosphere and mood.  I have no reason to believe the new "Nightmare" movie is going to be any better.  If I want to experience Freddy Krueger, I'll just watch the original.  I find nothing wrong with older movies.  In fact, many of my all-time favorites are old movies.  John Carpenter's original vision of Michael Myers will always be the definitive and scariest.  The first four "Friday the 13th" movies are the only ones you need- it's best to pretend that "The Final Chapter" is just indeed that and forget the rest exist.  Seriously.  I generally fly into a rage when I hear someone say that the original "Halloween" or "Prom Night" are boring and younger audiences can't relate to it.  What?  Have kids for the past 80 years not been able to relate to "The Wizard Of Oz"?  Or Batman?  Give me a break.  I actually know some who seriously will not watch anything made before 1990, because actors were ugly back then.  I know, right?  Infuriating.  So thanks, but I think I'll pass on the 2010 interpretation of "A Nightmare On Elm Street".  Would you want to see anybody else play Han Solo?  Or Scarlett O'Hara?  Not me.  Freddy Krueger, love him  or hate him, will always be Robert Englund.  Sorry.  That's just the way it is in my book.

Omen 3: The Final Conflict

     In 1981 the third installment of "The Omen" series hit theaters.  Actors such as Jack Nicholson, Gene Hackman, and Marlon Brando were considered for the role of the adult Damien Thorn- one can only imagine what the likes of Jack Nicholson could do with a part like that.  However, I personally think Sam Neill was the perfect choice for the adult Damien.  He just fits the part.  A well-known actor would have distracted from the performance, I think.  This time around Damien is eyeing the Presidency, intent on world domination.   He very much knows now who he is and his purpose, and Sam Neill does a great job with the evil nature of the role.  He's quite convincing.

     As the world plunges deeper and deeper into despair, (worldwide starvation and economic doom)  Damien carries on his sinister plot to rule the world.   Seems the daggers of Megiddo have been excavated from the ruins of the Thorn museum in Chicago that exploded in the second film. The knives end up with a band of priests, intent on destroying the Anti-Christ.  Another comet is coming- suggesting another child is on the way?  It echoes the birth of Damien in 1976.  Is it the second coming of Christ?  Damien seems to think so, as he unleashes a truly chilling plot to murder all newborns in England.  The Rottweiler makes a welcome return, as well as some downright nasty and shocking death sequences.  Despite a somewhat weak climax, it's a fitting and proper end to one of the classiest horror trilogies in history.  I really do love the "Omen" films- I  really respect the original trilogy and grew up watching them.  The ridiculous "Omen 4: The Awakening" was produced for television, in a failed attempt to start a franchise like "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th", yet it didn't quite work.  Why?  Because it was TERRIBLE.  And don't even get me started on the ridiculous remake.

The Burning

  

      A prank on a sadistic camp caretaker goes horribly wrong, ending in him being hideously burned. Five years later, after many failed operations, he returns to Camp Blackwater for some good old fashioned revenge...

     First of all, let's the get the obvious out of the way.  It's obviously inspired by FRIDAY THE 13TH.  Fine. Whatever. But don't let that fool you. THE BURNING is actually an above average 80's slasher that's just as entertaining as FRIDAY THE 13TH if you ask me, and I LOVE those films.

     You get to see Jason Alexander (with a full head of hair), Holly Hunter, and Fisher Stevens way before they were famous.  You get special effects by Tom Savini that are quite gruesome- this movie was banned for years in the UK. It moves along briskly, and reaches a climax of sorts with the notorious "abandoned canoe" scene- it's truly spectacular.  And I loved the music- Rick Wakeman's electronic score is effective eerie and really helps the mood of the film and I'm on a mad search for the soundtrack as we speak.

      No, it's not the best written or acted.  But it has great, creative cinematography and editing.  And you just can't beat the movie's atmosphere. Far superior than SLEEPAWAY CAMP (which is highly overrated in my book...), THE BURNING is almost as if you're watching MEATBALLS at times- with its camp hijinks and total overall 80's atmosphere.  Until Savini's effects viciously remind you that you're watching a slasher movie.

     THE BURNING is unfairly known as just a Camp Crystal Lake clone, but it deserves a bigger audience.  It uses up just about every slasher cliche in the book, even throwing in the obligatory counselors huddled around a campfire being told the local legend and a fellow counselor jumps out of the bushes with a mask on and scares the shit ouf of everybody at just the right moment. Which is great, because there is something about a bunch of people out in the dark woods, huddled around a campfire telling scary stories that strikes a chord in me.

     There will always be something childlike and wondrous about summer camp- which is why I'm so fond of the "summer camp" movies. Cropsy makes a memorable villain in this little-seen slasher from '81 and  I would go so far as to put this in the Top Ten Slashers of the 80's.  A memorable early production of newly formed Miramax Studios.

The Howling

     An anchorwoman goes away to a retreat in the woods after being attacked by a psychopath.  But what she doesn't realize is that the retreat is overrun with werewolves...

     Not only is "The Howling" an awesome werewolf flick in its own right, but the fact that it was released in 1981 only ups its coolness factor.  In my opinion on an equal plane with "An American Werewolf In London"- I think they are simply the two best werewolf movies I've ever seen.  I can't decide which I like better because they're both different and I shouldn't even have to compare them in the first place.  I also love "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th" equally as well.

     I love "The Howling" because I love Dee Wallace-Stone and as usual she gives a standout performance.  I love the utmost respect "The Howling" has for 1941's "The Wolf Man" and other classic werewolf mythology- and how this movie has that old-fashioned monster movie feel to it. I love seeing a director (in this case Joe Dante) show so much creativity with so little budget.  I love the many in-jokes and references to other figures in the genre.  I love the great and moody soundtrack by the great and moody Pino Dinaggio(who also did the scores for "Carrie" and "Dressed To Kill"...).  I love the cinematography and art direction.  I love the smart satire running fresh through the entire movie.  And of course the werewolf effects are so good that they still haven't been topped today, even with CGI.

      "The Howling" effortlessly meshes scary tension to tongue-in-cheek humor, all without missing a beat.  It's easily one of the best werewolf movies of all time, and has earned the right to stand proudly beside "An American Werewolf In London".  "The Howling" borders on camp at times, but it's overall a spooky and effective movie.  A bona fide 80's classic.

The Initiation Of Sarah

    Shy, repressed, and adopted Sarah (Kay Lenz),  goes to college with her beautiful half sister Patti, played by Morgan Brittany.  Patti is immediately accepted into the snobbiest sorority, ran by a wonderfully bitchy Morgan Fairchild.  Sarah is relegated to the more intellectual, misfit sorority with evil house mother Mrs. Hunter (Shelley Winters at her most divine), who takes Sarah under her wing and encourages her to explore and use her telekinetic powers.   After Sarah is humiliated in a hazing prank, she wreaks vengeance on the snobbish sorority, especially Jennifer.

    Gleefully ripping off "Carrie" every minute of the way, 1978's "The Initiation of Sarah" is a campy, over-the-top TV frightfest that has become one of the most famous of all the classic TV movies- famous enough to warrant a remake in 2006.  It's oh-so-watchable...  Aside from above average directing, acting, and cinematography, there is a great, eerie score and a surprisingly racy subplot about repressed lesbianism.  Kay Lenz is sympathetic as misunderstood Sarah, while Morgan Brittany deliciously camps it up as Patti.  Morgan Fairchild is catty perfection as bitchy Jennifer Lawrence and has a field day with her role, and do I really need to say anything about Shelley Winters?  She gobbles up every bit of scenery surrounding her, then spits it all back up again.  

     And of course, like "Carrie", the tension and abuse all come to a rousing and fiery conclusion as Sarah unleashes her telekinetic fury on everyone around her.  I remember this airing alot around Halloween back in the day, and usually on the late show.  This is cheesy 70's fun all the way.  In my eyes, throwing Morgan Fairchild, telekinesis, and Shelley Winters all together in a blender spells F.U.N.  I love this stuff!